Conspiracy Theories

Well as the whole world is still going corona crazy, I thought I might as well stay with corona craziness theme. Apparently the UK is on lock down till June or even for a whole year. People are starting to question if this is really just about a virus. I know that the only way to solve a problem is by asking the correct questions. So I’m going to share some of the strange corona conspiracy theories I’ve heard. Hope you’ve got the lung power to laugh.

Hiding safely

The first theory is this:

Pigeons are actually governmental spydrones and coronavirus is actually a cover so the batteries can be changed.

Yes I have actually heard people say this! The only way I could think of replying was “Its not the pigeons but the seagulls that are remote control drones. Seagulls are Royal birds and killing one is treason as they belong to the queen.” Can’t really reply rationally to such an irrational idea. Readers, look at that poor little pigeon hiding under the bridge, it’s a living creature batteries not required.

That said the birds seem to of left the city. There used to be loads of pigeons and quite a few common seagulls. Now a couple of pigeons if that. With the streets near deserted there’s not even the idea of a crumb for pigeons to eat.

Conspiracy Theories

Now I do like a good conspiracy theory and there are quite a few going around at moment. The pigeon one is ridiculous and can’t really be counted as theres not even a shread of truth in it.

Why I like conspiracy theories, is because it’s fun to disprove them. Also they reveal a lot about the person who’s even half believing them.

In some ways I am a walking, talking, blog writing conspiracy theory. Have you got any evidence I exist Readers? And why have I been homeless for so long there are lots of laws etc that should prevent people being homeless and rough sleeping for years. Plus if what I say about being homeless is true how come I can write such an awesome blog? Lots of questions eh Readers? The more discerning of you may be able to glean part of why I’m blacklisted from housing by too many councils. It’s nothing I’ve done wrong and I think I’m quite a good neighbour. Others have agreed.

Long live the King?????

Recently I’ve met quite a few different street type people who are convinced the UK has a king at the moment. This is quite frankly absurd. Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II will be addressing her subjects tomorrow in a televised address. Why are so many convinced there’s a king on UK throne?

Unfortunately it probably boils down to brain cell destruction via drugs and ancient medieval history. The amount of graffiti saying “King James” is probably fueling this.

Back in the day England and Scotland were 2 very separate countries. They each had their own throne and a separate king or queen ruling. In 17th century King James VI filled a void in the English throne room becoming King James I of England. A few years later the English parliament decided that it would also be the Scottish parliament and thus in 1707 the Act of the Union law was passed in the now United Kingdom. So Scotland took English throne and England took the Scottish parliment. Theres a lot of political, religious bickering murders, blackmail, bribery etc involved here and I’ve given 0.00001% of the story. Readers please correct me if I’m wrong on any of this.

This all happened over 3 hundred years ago but for some it hurts like it happened this morning. Theres a lot of anger involved. I reckon this gives a different viewpoint to the King of UK rumours. This rumour could actually be an indicator of something extremely worrying.

Space Aliens

The other one is the old “The Greys” craziness. It goes like this: aliens known as the greys, control all human life on the planet and all the major political figures are actually greys in disguise. I’m not even going to start to explain this one it’s self explanatory.

People are asking questions

This is people are starting to question if there’s more to coronavirus than just a virus. Readers the yearly winter flu kills a lot of people but the world isn’t put on lockdown because of it. Plus the worldwide economy is being destroyed by this virus. So what on earth could be going on.

I’m going to list a few corona conspiracy theories I’ve heard and some I’ve thought up myself. The list is for entertainment purposes and I am in no way saying any of the theories in the list are true. The following list is purely to help you pass your time during lockdown, while those in power who have our best interests at heart protect our lives from Covid19. A bucket full of salt is required.

List of Theories

So in no particular order

  1. Coronavirus is a bioweapon created by *insert government you like dependant of your political/racial prejudices*
  2. Expansion of first theory. Coronavirus is a bioweapon to bring about a New World Order. A quick Google search will explain this long standing conspiracy theory.
  3. More on the bioweapon theme. Coronavirus is an international conspiracy to bring about the objectives of Agenda 21.
  4. The virus is a bioweapon to wipe out overpopulation.
  5. There is no virus it’s a cover up and it’s the 5g mobile phone masts that are making everyone ill.
  6. The Greys have created the virus using alien technology to bring about the end of the human race. (Apart from a few slaves that they will do unspeakable things to).
  7. It’s been created to wipe out the elderly and disabled to bring about *insert whichever political ideology your most scared of*
  8. The slave masters are upset that their slaves have walked away from them. They have created the virus to get their slaves back.
  9. There is no virus it’s just the UK government needs a big news story now Brexit is over. Connected to this is the UK has been economically sanctioned by the rest of the world for no discernable reason.
  10. The government of *insert the name of the country your in* doesn’t want us normal people to be able to demonstrate and there is no virus.
  11. The virus is God’s revenge (Christain version only) and we are in the time of Revelation. This is the great plague before the rapture. Theres a need to cry “we’re doomed God has judged us!” Or if your a fundamentalist “We’re saved and they are doomed God has judged us/them” There’s a variant of this theory for every religion.
  12. There is a very nasty virus that’s killing an awful lot of people. Nobody knows much about this virus but the experts know more than us. We had better do what we’re told and take the sensible precautions we have been told to take.

This list is like a good horror film dont take it to heart. In fact please don’t take any of the list apart from the last item seriously. Theres a good website here for fact checking these theories and any others you here.

There is zero evidence that coronavirus is anything but a natural mutation of a different virus. But changing the batteries in pigeons!

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